The Strength to Save

I stare into the depths of my own eyes
unflinching, as I gaze into the night
For my own ears the child within me cries
as all around is shadowed in the light

I feel the rain so chill upon my face
and shudder with the touch of every fall
With unbelief I search my heart for grace
for unbelief, cold silence greets my call

The faithless have no hand to guide their course
no light, save that which we ourselves create
In faith, such light is cast from other source
too hard to find salvation lost in hate

The strength to save our souls is all our own
My light, my strength, to none but me is shown. 

Her Eyes

The girl sits on  a bare mattress in the corner. The blanket she pulled around her, as if maybe somehow it could protect her and warm her the way he should have. If you glanced around the room you would be greeted by a sight of disarray, packing boxes strewn haphazardly across the floor. Most have been partially filled and then summarily abandoned.

But back to the girl.

Her head is leaning tiredly against the wall. Have you ever seen someone cry completely silently? I tell you, it's surreal, even to her. There's a sense that all of the sound has been siphoned out of this room and stored for later. This is not the time for sound, it would be an intruder here. This is the silent time, the eye. This silence is very important you know, it's holding her together. Without it, she thinks she might evaporate.

Did you know that the girl isn't alone here? I bet you didn't.
We'll talk about that later though.
Would you like to look at her? She won't mind, I promise. She doesn't even know we're here.
Neither does he.

Go ahead, look at her face. Start at the tip of her nose if you like. It might qualify as a cute nose, if it wasn't all red and splotchy that is...like most of her face is right now actually. Poor thing, she's never been pretty when she cries. Perhaps now is not the best time to see her.

Do me a favor though, take a look at her eyes. Is there anything there? No? Creepy isn't it? Oh, don't look so worried! She'll be alright. I mean, she'll have to be, won't she?

Remember though, she's not alone. Over there, across the room is a man. He's the one that took what was in her eyes, and then lost it. Careless if you ask me.

This room is a sad one now. It was a happy room, once, but she's stripping it. Bare walls and naked shelves. All the warmth packed safely into boxes till she can open them again. It's very tiring you know, packing warmth into a box. It tears it all out of you till all you are is cold and you can't stand anymore because you're numb. That's why she's stopped. For now. She'll get back up again once she feels the warmth trying to escape back into the room. She'll have to. It's not allowed here anymore.
Not wanted. 

You want to know if the man will be left here in the cold room? Well, yes. That's what he wanted wasn't it? Why else would he drive the warmth away? Take what was in her eyes  and lose it?

Careless.

Last Chance

There are no last chances
anymore
The last train has left
either you're on it or not
doesn't matter to me
Do you care?

There it goes
speeding away
Did you jump on just in time?
Are you finding yourself?
Have you found me as well?
in that new little hum-drum life

But perhaps
you're still here,
standing right here beside
with that quiet little smile that you have
Saying softly to me
"did you think I could leave?"
"did you think I would miss you at all?"

When I look to my left
will I see you right there?
Holding my life in your hands
Or have you dashed off
without one glance behind
As I stand here at the station alone. 

Vertigo

Guys,  i think i'm falling
the world twists and dips
sickeningly distorted

i try to catch the sand
but it slips
through my fingers
and shatters

i walk across the broken glass
and cut my feet
on the shards
and blood leaks from my soul

i'm breaking
i try to hold myself together
but i shake
parts of me fly away

acid tears burn my face
and i melt


and am gone.

The Rain

She only cries in the rain.
She only ever cries
in the pouring rain,
salt water drowned in fresh.

Some wounds never heal,
some scars never fade.

Old wounds linger
always
But they can be ignored
a dull ache
life goes on.
She can laugh,
and smile,
and believe.

It's the scars that betray,
with startling swiftness and blinding pain
she recalls tastes,sounds, smells
Colours
oh the colours
technicolour childhood,
vibrant and pulsing
til the instant when it all went grey.

Time eases all pain
and few things now remain grey.
But the scars still wait
and she still only cries in the rain.